Perfect Doesn't Last
by Birdieq
Summary: Begins about 4 years after season 13. Owen and Amelia have worked things out and are happily married with a (nearly) three-year-old daughter, Isla. They have what they consider to be a perfect life, but what happens when everything comes crashing down? Mostly Omelia, a good bit of Merthan, occasional appearances by Addison and Jake, probably most current GA characters at some point
1. Chapter 1

It was a sunny morning in early May. Amelia and Owen were sitting at their kitchen table, sipping coffee and waiting for their almost-three-year-old daughter Isla to wake up. They glanced at each other and grinned excitedly when they finally heard her little footsteps on the stairs.

"Daddy!" the girl squealed as she hurled herself at her father and climbed up in his lap to wrap her skinny little arms around her neck.

Owen kissed her forehead and ruffled her wild, strawberry blonde ringlets. "Did you have sweet dreams?" he asked as she nuzzled into his chest.

Isla nodded. "Yeah! I was…" she began before noticing a brightly-colored gift bag sitting in her spot at the table. "Hey! Is dat for me?" she asked, her big blue eyes sparkling with excitement as she hopped off her father's lap and went to inspect the package. "I-s-l-a," she spelled out as she checked the tag. "That's Isla! Is it my birfday?" By now she was hopping from foot to foot and grinning from ear to ear.

"Not yet, baby. Remember we talked about it yesterday? Your birthday is in eight days, and grandma and your aunts Nancy, Kate, and Liz are coming from New York -"

"Yeah! An' Auntie Addie an' Uncle Jake are comin' wif Henry an' Diana" Isla squealed. "An' Auntie Meredif, Uncle Nafan, ZoZo, Bailey, Ellis, da twins…"

Amelia laughed. "Yes, they're all coming to your party too. And this is one of your presents, but you get to open it now because we're going somewhere special and you need it today." She pulled the toddler into her lap and plastered her rosy cheeks with kisses before handing her the bag. "Happy early birthday, baby."

Isla snatched the gift bag. After tossing aside wads of pink and yellow tissue paper she pulled out a little white jersey with navy pinstripes. Her mouth fell open before breaking into an ecstatic smile. "Mommy! It's da Yankees!" she shrieked.

"That's right! It's a Yankees jersey." Being from New York Amelia was a diehard Yankees fan, and not even years of living on the opposite coast could change that. She watched their games whenever she could and Isla was already taking after her mother. Even at her young age she could identify most of the players and watched the games intently, seeming to have a decent understanding of what was going on. "And where do you think you should wear your new Yankees jersey?" Amelia asked, hinting at the other part of the gift.

"Ummmm...to see da Yankees?"

"That's right! We're going to watch them play today," Owen said brightly. While he, too, enjoyed baseball he was not a Yankees fan, but he knew sitting through a game would be worth it, just to see the joy on his little daughter's face.

"Oh, we're goin' to New York?" Isla asked, knowing that the Yankees played in New York. Amelia had taken her by the stadium when they went to visit her mother and sisters, but they were usually in the city for the holidays so there were no games going on. "Are we gonna see Gramma too?"

"No, we're not going to New York to see them. Someday we will," Amelia promised, "but today they're in Seattle. They're playing the Mariners. And guess what! Auntie Meredith, Uncle Nathan, Zola, Bailey, and Ellis are coming too! Won't that be fun?"

Isla just squealed and jumped up and down, her little body unable to contain all the excitement. Finally she threw herself at Amelia and hugged her legs. "Come on! Let's go!"

"Not so fast," Owen said with a chuckle as he scooped her up. "The game isn't until later this afternoon. We'll go after your nap. But right now it's time for breakfast."

"No no no, I see da Yankees _now_ ," Isla protested as she tried to wiggle out of Owen's arms.

"No, right now you're going to go potty while mommy gets breakfast ready, then you're going to eat and take a bath," Owen said firmly as he tightened his grip on the child and headed to the bathroom.

"O _kay_ ," Isla reluctantly agreed. Her smile quickly returned when Owen removed her nighttime diaper. "Look daddy, I didn't go peepee! I get a star!"

"Yes, you do." He let her pick one from a sheet of stickers and watched as she put it proudly on her potty chart.

"I only need _one, two, free_ more!" the girl squealed as she counted the boxes on the chart. "An' den, no more diapers, right daddy?"

"That's right," Owen confirmed as he picked her up and sat her on the toilet. Although Isla had been daytime trained since shortly after turning two, she still wet the bed at night. However, she insisted she was a big girl and cried every night when her parents tried to diaper her. Finally they came up with the potty chart and told her if she went 30 days with no accidents, she could stop wearing them, which seemed to placate the toddler. There was still a bit of pouting at bedtime, but at least there hadn't been any meltdowns over if for a while.

By the time Isla was done going potty and washing her hands, Amelia had breakfast ready. Owen strapped her into her booster seat and she hungrily dug into her bowl of oatmeal while Amelia poured the last of the milk into a sippy cup. "Don't forget to stop and get some on the way home tonight," she told Owen as she rinsed the hug and tossed it in the recycling bin before refilling her coffee cup and sitting down to eat. She watched her beautiful little girl eat neatly, careful not to spill one bit on her pajamas or the table, and couldn't help but wonder how they'd gotten so lucky. She caught Owen's eye and smiled. "What on earth did we ever do to deserve this?" she mused, amazed even after almost three years that two screwed up people could create something so perfect.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: So, this is my first attempt at writing fanfiction in...idk, a really, really long time. I wrote some Addex stuff ages ago, and like, one ER fic, but I can't remember my name or password so here I am, starting with a clean slate. Constructive criticism is welcome. I'm going to try to post at least a chapter a week, not sure how that's gonna go but it's good to have goals, right?**

Chapter 2

"Look baby, there it is!" Amelia pointed to the stadium as they arrived, and Isla squealed and clapped excitedly. They parked the car and made their way to the pre-determined spot where Meredith, Nathan, and their three oldest children were waiting. As soon as Isla spotted them she wriggled out of Owen's arms and hurled herself at her favorite aunt.

"There's my little peanut!" Meredith gushed as she scooped her goddaughter up and plastered her face with kisses. "Are you excited?"

Isla nodded enthusiastically and pointed to her new jersey. "Look what I got! It's da Yankees!"

"I love it!" Meredith said before they went inside and located their seats, right on the third base line. They got situated with Nathan and the Shepherd kids in the front row and the rest of the group behind them, then Owen and Nathan jotted down what everyone wanted for lunch and headed to the concession stands.

Isla stood behind her cousins and chattered away at Zola until the guys returned with the food. Amelia pulled the girl up into her seat between herself and Meredith, then grabbed a bib from her purse. Isla immediately tried pushing it away. "No bib! I'm not a baby!"

"Do you want to get ketchup on your new shirt?"

"No, but I'm a big girl!" Isla whined.

"Isla Joy Hunt, if you're going to whine we'll go home right now," Amelia threatened. Owen snickered, knowing she would never follow through with it, and she elbowed him in the ribs.

"Come on lovebug, be a good girl for mommy and we'll get ice cream later," Owen bribed. Isla grinned and sat still long enough for the bib to be snapped around her neck. Before Owen could hand her her chicken tenders and fries, though, the players started taking the field and she jumped to her feet. "Oh! Look! Look! Dey're comin'! Hi! Hiiiiiiiiiii!" She waved to the player that stopped right in front of them, not caring that it was the Mariner's third baseman and not the Yankee's, and squealed when he waved back at her before turning his attention to warm ups.

"Oh my God," Meredith laughed. "I've never seen her this excited about anything."

"Right? At first I thought I was crazy buying tickets to a major league game for a three-year-old but this is so totally worth it," Amelia said before putting Isla back in her seat and giving the girl her food.

Throughout the game Isla watched intently and cheered enthusiastically every time someone got a hit. By the eighth inning her energy was waning, though, and she climbed up on Owen's lap. She held up until the top of the ninth, when she dozed off. By the end the game was tied and went into extra innings. "You wanna go?" Owen asked.

Amelia shrugged. "We're not working tomorrow. Might as well stay til it's over."

The game continued until one of the Mariners hit a homerun to win the game. The crowd erupted in cheers, startling Isla. "Shh, it's okay," Owen soothed as he rubbed his crying daughter's back. "Come on, let's get out of here."

Nathan stood up. "Hey man, if the weather's nice we'll cook out tomorrow. I'll give you a call," he said as scooped up Ellis, who had been out like a light since the bottom of the seventh.

"Sounds good." Owen waved and they made their way to the car. They drove towards home, Amelia reminding Owen that they needed milk as they neared the convenience store a few blocks from their house.

"I wanna go in!" Isla called from the back seat as they pulled into the parking lot.

"Baby, daddy's just going in for milk. Stay here with me."

"No, I wanna go in," Isla whined.

"It's late. You can go in next…" Amelia stopped to glare at Owen as he opened the back door and started unbuckling the toddler. "Owen! She can't get her way all the time!"

Owen just shrugged and grinned. "Maybe not with you…" he chuckled, leaving Amelia shaking her head as he walked away.

As soon as they got inside Isla wriggled away and started looking around, intrigued by all the candy and snacks. "Daddy, I want this!" She declared, picking up a box of chocolate donut holes.

"Okay, but you can't have any until tomorrow. You already had ice cream tonight. Now come on." He put a hand on the back of her head and guided her to the back of the store where the coolers were. He got the milk and just as they approached the register two men pulled out guns and started shouting at the cashier, who quickly pulled out a gun of his own. Before Owen could grab Isla and run away shots were being fired. He fell back as a bullet hit him in the abdomen, hitting his head on a shelf in the way down. The last thing he saw before passing out was his little girl crumbling to the floor next to him.

 **Okay, so that chapter was kind of rushed and pretty much trash, but let me know what you think. Chapter 3 is done. If I get 3 reviews by tonight I'll post it before I go to bed. If not, it'll be up tomorrow.**

 **Also, where are the Shepherds actually from? I always assume New York because Derek and Addison went to school there, lived there, etc, but the more I think about it, the less certain I am that it's true. If I ever knew for sure, I've long forgotten by now.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: thank you for the reviews! And thank you to the guest who confirmed that the Shepherd's are from New York. I feel much better knowing. :) So here is chapter 3. Warning, it's definitely not warm and fuzzy.**

Amelia heard the shots and looked up in time to see two masked men dash out of the store, jump into a waiting car, and speed off. Without thinking she scrambled out of the car and raced towards the store screaming for her husband and daughter. Her heart sank when she saw the familiar, skinny legs and sandal-clad feet of her baby sticking out from behind a rack. She took a few more steps and saw it was worse than she expected. The blood - there was so much - was mingled with gray matter. Dropping to her knees Amelia pressed her sweatshirt to the back of Isla's head and leaned forward. It was faint, but she felt the tiniest of breaths on her cheek. "Come on, baby, hang in there," she murmured as she glanced around. Owen was a few yards away. He was bleeding from his abdomen, but she could see the steady rise and fall of his chest. _He's okay. He's going to be fine_ , she told herself before a strangled gasp brought her attention back to Isla. She watched in horror as the girl took a few breaths, then went still. "Come on, baby, don't do this to me," Amelia begged as she checked for a pulse. Nothing. She started compressions, wincing as she felt little ribs cracking under the pressure. "Breathe, baby, just breathe. You can do it."

Without warning she was shoved aside, and suddenly she was aware of sirens and flashing lights. Before she knew it she was being led into an ambulance with her daughter. They sped off towards the hospital, Owen in another ambulance close behind.

Alex was just leaving the hospital after being called in for an emergency surgery when his pager went off. "Shit," he muttered as he hurried back inside to gown up. _Two-year-old with GSW to the head_. His heart raced as he made it to the ambulance bay just as the ambulance screeched to a halt. With one glance he knew they had a snowball's chance in hell of saving this kid. Blown pupils, gray matter oozing out. "This kid's g-," he spat at the paramedics, but stopped himself when he recognized the woman climbing out behind the gurney. "Dr. Shepherd," he stammered before they raced inside. He barked orders at nurses and residents to hang saline and O neg, hook up monitors. He studied her stats and shook his head. If this was any other kid, he'd be calling it now. Reluctantly he grabbed the defibrillator as the paramedic doing CPR hopped off the gurney and shocked the girl. Once. Twice. Nothing. A resident did more compressions on her battered chest, blood pouring out with every thrust; she was losing it faster than they could give it to her. One more shock. Still nothing. He set the paddles down. "Time of de-,"

Instantly Amelia was in his face, pounding on his chest before a paramedic could restrain her. "No! Don't stop! You do not stop now!" she ordered as the man dragged her back. "Save her!"

"Dr. Shepherd…"

"Don't _Dr. Shepherd_ me. Just get over there and try again. Please…" By the last word her voice was shaky and small, and it gutted him.

Alex gritted his teeth. "Okay, you heard her," he growled. A resident resumed compressions, he shocked her. Once. Twice. After the third time a heartbeat registered, erratic and weak, on the monitor. Alex knew it was too good to be true, though, and sure enough, not a minute later, she flatlined. The resident looked to Alex, but Alex shook his head. "Time of death, 10:27."

Amelia let out a primal, blood-curdling, barely human wail before she hunched over, vomit splattering the floor. Over and over she retched until there was nothing left and she slid down the wall gasping. Alex ripped off his gloves and squatted next to her. "Where's Hunt?" he asked gently, finally noticing the other doctor's absence.

Amelia just pointed to the trauma room next door as she sobbed. Alex stood up and peeked through the blinds. "How...how is he?" she asked in that small, shaky voice.

"He looks okay. I'll go check." Alex left and returned a few minutes later. "Bullet nicked his spleen, but it doesn't look like anything vital was hit. They're taking him to surgery soon," he informed her. "Now, I know this is hard, but would you like to consider organ donation?"

Amelia glanced up and stared blankly at Alex. "I...I don't know. I need to ask Owen. I can't..." But of course that wasn't possible, and she knew they were losing precious minutes. "Yeah. Yes."

"Okay." Alex crouched down and held out the consent forms, which she signed with a trembling hand before looking up at him.

"I...I need to see him."

"Okay. Come on."

Alex helped Amelia to her feet and guided her to Owen after handing the papers to a resident and telling him to call UNOS. She leaned over and kissed him, then stood running her fingers through his hair as her tears splashed his face. "He didn't say goodbye. He didn't get to say goodbye," she whispered over and over until they wheeled him away.

With Owen gone Alex led Amelia to a quiet room and sat her down. "You want me to call anyone?"

Amelia's first thought was her mother. No. It's 1:45am in New York. She couldn't wake her mother in the middle of the night with this kind of news. No, she would wait until morning to make that call. "Meredith," she finally answered, her voice barely audible.

"Meredith?" Amelia nodded. "Okay, can I get anything for you?" Amelia just shook her head. "Alright. I'll be right back." Alex went to the attendings' lounge, where he kicked a wastepaper basket and slammed his fist into a wall. "Son on a bitch," he screamed before pausing to take a few deep breaths. When he felt a little calmer he pulled out his phone.

With the kids in bed, things were just getting steamy between Meredith and Nathan when her phone rang. "Ignore it," Nathan ordered.

"It's Alex," Meredith said, recognizing the ringtone.

"So what? If it's important he'll leave a message," Nathan insisted before pressing his lips to hers.

Meredith shrugged and kissed him back. The phone stopped ringing, only to start again a minute later. With a sigh she pushed him aside and grabbed the phone. "What is it, Alex?" she snapped.

"Mere, you gotta come to the hospital."

"I'm not on call tonight. Find someone else."

"Dr. Shepherd asked for you."

"Dr. Shepherd isn't working tonight…" Meredith said. Alex's tone of voice was making her nervous and she got up, pacing the floor wrapped in a blanket.

"I know. It's the kid." Alex, as usual, didn't see any point in beating around the bush. "Her kid is dead." He heard a _thump_ and a muffled cry. "Mere?"

Meredith picked the phone up. "Sorry, what was that? For a second I thought you said Amelia's kid was dead," she said with a forced laugh.

"She is, Mere. No joke. Amelia asked me to call you."

"But I just saw her! We were at a baseball game, and…"

"Yeah, and now there's a hole the size of my fist in her head and her brain is splattered on a convenience store floor. You coming, or what?"

"Yeah, I'll be right there. What about Owen?" Meredith asked as she started pulling clothes out of the dresser.

"He's in surgery, but he should be fine." _At least as fine as he can be with a dead kid_. "Maybe you could bring some clean clothes?"

By now Nathan was staring at Meredith with a mix of confusion and horror. "What happened?" he questioned as soon as she put the phone down.

"I...I'm not really sure. Sounds like a shooting." Meredith barely got the words out before breaking down. "Owen's in surgery."

Nathan was already up, throwing on clothes. "Wait, I'll call Maggie to watch the kids and we'll go together." He didn't want Meredith driving in her condition.

"No, I gotta go. She's all alone. Meet me there." She kissed him quickly, grabbed some clothes for Amelia, and rushed downstairs and out the door.

Alex got cleaned up a bit before making his way back to Amelia. He could hear her cries before he opened the door. He took a deep breath and braced himself before going in. "I'm sorry, Dr. Shepherd, I'm so sorry," he said. He reached over to run her back, but she collapsed against him so he wrapped his arm around her instead. "I'm so sorry."

"I...I knew she was gone the second I saw her," Amelia admitted after crying into his shoulder for a few minutes. "I'm a Goddamn neurosurgeon. I knew. Nobody could have fixed her. But thank you for trying," she squeaked out.

Meredith made it to the hospital in record time and sprinted to the ER, where a nurse informed her of Amelia's whereabouts. She paused to pull herself together outside the room, but her composure crumbled as soon as she saw her sister-in-law, hands stained red and shirt sticky with blood as she clung to Alex. She braced herself and approached the pair. "I got this," she told Alex softly, and took a seat next to Amelia as he slipped away.

"Mere, my baby's dead," she whispered as the tears continued flowing.

"I know, Amy. I know." Meredith held Amelia and stroked her hair. "What happened?"

"We stopped to pick up milk on the way home. She wanted to go in with Owen. I told her she had to stay in the car, but you know Owen. He can't say no to her. I was waiting in the car and heard gunshots. Ran inside and there she was…" Amelia trailed off as she pulled back and looked at Meredith. "She's a baby, Mere. A baby. Who shoots a fucking _baby_ in the head?" she spat before succumbing to another crying jag, sobbing and coughing until Meredith was sure she was going to throw up.

"Easy, you're gonna make yourself sick," Meredith murmured as she rubbed her sister-in-law's thin back. "Come on, let's go get cleaned up," she suggested, hoping the distraction might calm her a little.

"I...I should go upstairs and wait for Owen," Amelia decided as she got to her feet.

"He's gonna be in surgery a while. Let's go take a shower, and then we'll wait for Owen," Meredith insisted as she steered Amelia towards the elevators and tried to shield her from the stares of the doctors and nurses in the ER.

In the locker room Amelia let Meredith remove her soiled clothes before she stepped into the shower and stood, staring in horror as the blood-tinged water trickled down her body and swirled down the drain. She lathered her hair, willing herself not to vomit as the suds turned pink, then scrubbed her body until it felt raw and yet she was sure she would never be able to wash her daughter's blood from her body.

Finally she felt a tug on her arm. "Come on, that's enough. You got it all," Meredith assured her softly as she turned the water off and wrapped Amelia in a towel. She just about had Amelia dressed again when Nathan popped his head in the door, red-eyed and splotchy-faced but composed.

"Any news on Hunt?" the man asked gently.

Meredith shook her head. "We're going to check on him now." The women made their way to the waiting room and Nathan went to track down anyone who might have an update on his friend. Amelia sat with her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands. She was quiet now but the tears continued to flow, dripping from her cheeks and darkening her borrowed jeans. By this point Meredith was at a loss for words and just sat with an arm around Amelia until Nathan returned. "Well?"

"Just got out of surgery," Nathan reported. "They had to remove his spleen, but other than that the damage was minimal. He has a minor concussion from falling, but nothing major. They should be taking him to his room soon." He sat on the other side of Amelia and they waited in silence for another update.

Finally a doctor - a new-ish general surgeon whose name Amelia couldn't remember - approached them, repeating Nathan had already said and adding "I expect a full recovery, and he should be out of here in a few days. The nurse will let you know when he's in his room."

Just minutes later a nurse informed them of Owen's room number. Amelia bolted, Meredith and Nathan hot on her heels. "Owen!" Amelia gasped as she ran her fingers through her barely-conscious husband's hair.

Owen looked up at his wife with groggy, heavy-lidded eyes. "Amelia." He gazed at her for a minute, studying her bloodshot eyes and puffy face. "Isla. Where's Isla?" he asked as the evening's events slowly came back to him.

 **Well, that's the longest chapter by far. I don't know about you but after writing that I'm...gutted. What do you think? Love it? Hate it? Hate** _ **me**_ **? Let me know. Chapter 4 is coming together pretty quickly so it might get posted tomorrow. I worked a half day yesterday and was off today so I had plenty of time to write, but I guarantee the chapters won't come this fast most of the time.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys, so I WAS hoping to finish this Thursday night and get it posted, buuuuut then Amelia was crying and my precious nuggets hugged and basically I died and was nonfunctional for the rest of the evening. Friday and Saturday were busy so writing just didn't happen. I am sorry for that but such is life.**

Owen stared up at his wife's heartbroken face. "Amelia, where's Isla?" he repeated, louder this time.

"Owen, she...she didn't make it," Amelia said before her face crumpled.

"Where is she? Amelia…"

"Owen, listen to me! She died. Isla's dead." Amelia put her hands on either side of his face and stared into his eyes, willing him to believe her. "There was nothing they could do. They couldn't save her."

Meredith and Nathan watched from the doorway as the couple held each other and cried. Finally Meredith stepped into the room. "Hey, you guys need anything before we leave?" she asked softly.

Amelia shook her head and hugged Meredith. "No, but...can you...do you think you could call mom? Not now, of course. In the morning?" She knew she'd have to talk to her mother eventually, but couldn't imaging breaking the news to her. "And Addison? Please?"

"Of course. Let me know if you need anything in the morning." Meredith gave Amelia one last hug and squeezed Owen's shoulder before leaving.

By the time they got home Maggie was passed out on the couch. Meredith covered her with a blanket and was about to slip upstairs when she heard Maggie call her name. "How are they?" she asked as she sat up and rubbed her eyes.

Meredith shrugged. "Devastated." There really wasn't anything else to say.

"God, I can't even imagine...three years old. Why?"

"I don't know. I just don't know." Meredith sighed and continued upstairs while Maggie flopped back down and tried to go back to sleep.

Meredith checked on all the kids, sure Nathan had done the same thing, before joining her husband in their room. She changed into her pajamas and slipped under the covers, snuggling up to him and holding him tightly. For hours they tossed and turned, Nathan finally drifting off around three o'clock. Around five thirty Meredith accepted that sleep wasn't going to come and went downstairs. She started a pot of coffee and sat down with her phone. It was eight thirty on the east coast, she was sure Carolyn would be up and about getting ready for a soccer game or ballet recital, whatever the grandkids had going on. She took a deep breath and dialed.

"Meredith! How are you? How are my beautiful grandkids?" Carolyn chirped brightly; it hadn't yet dawned on her how early it still was in Seattle.

"Oh, my kids are fine. But I have to...tell you something."

"What is it? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. It-"

"It's Amelia, isn't it? Is she using again?" Carolyn asked with a sigh.

"No, it's not Amelia. Amelia is...it's not…" Meredith stuttered.

"Meredith, what is it?"

"It's Isla," Meredith finally got out, her voice cracking. "We...we went to a baseball game yesterday, and they stopped to pick up milk on the way home. There was a shooting, and Isla...oh, God…" By now Meredith's chest was tightening, her breath coming in sharp, ragged gasps.

"Isla what?" Carolyn pressed, mentally willing Meredith not to say what she thought she was going to say.

"The injury was too bad. There was nothing they could do. I'm so sorry," Meredith said before giving in to the tears. "I'm so sorry."

Carolyn took a few minutes to let it sink in. "How's Amelia? And Owen?"

"Owen's in the hospital. He got shot too, but he's okay. Amelia's with him. I'm going back to the hospital later."

"Okay. Tell her to call me if she needs anything. I'll call the girls and catch the first flight I can get."

"Will do. Give me a call if you want one of us to pick you up."

"Okay. See you soon."

Meredith sat and had a few cups of coffee, putting off calling LA until a decent hour. She was trying unsuccessfully to read the paper when Maggie shuffled in. "You get any sleep?" Maggie asked.

Meredith shook her head. "Not a bit. You?"

"Yeah, maybe a couple hours." Maggie stifled a yawn as she poured herself some coffee and sat down. Shortly after Nathan joined them and they all sat staring at each other, no one really knowing what to say.

"I called Carolyn. She's gonna catch the first available flight," Meredith finally said, more to break the silence than anything else. "I'm supposed to call Addison but I guess I should hold off another hour or two…"

"What about Richard? And Bailey? I wonder if anyone told them yet," Maggie mused.

"You should call them before they hear it through the grapevine," Meredith decided. "I'm going to take a shower and go back to the hospital."

By the time Meredith was ready she could hear the one-year-old twins stirring and popped into the nursery. "There's my big boys!" she cooed as she grabbed Charlie, who was clearly in need of a new diaper. She hugged him a little tighter and longer than usual before changing him and returning him to his crib so she could tend to Danny. Finally both were changed and she went downstairs with a boy on each hip.

Danny squealed and reached for Nathan as they entered the kitchen. Nathan forced a smile and took the boy from his wife. "Hey there, buddy."

Meredith got Charlie settled in his high chair and filled two sippy cups with milk before planting a kiss on each boy's head. "Bye guys, be good for daddy!" she called with false cheeriness before heading out the door. Once she was in the car she decided it was time to call Addison.

Addison was in the kitchen giving Diana her multitude of medications when her phone rang. She was going to let it go to voicemail, but noticed it was Meredith. _That's odd_ she thought. Although they had exchanged numbers they never called each other, so she figured it must be important. "Hello?"

"Hey. Addison. It's Meredith…"

"Hey. What's up?"

"I...um...well...Amelia asked me to call you…"

"What's wrong with Amelia?" Addison asked, a knot forming in her stomach.

"Amelia's fine. Well, I mean, she's not fine but…"

"Meredith, spit it out," Addison snapped. She was getting more nervous by the second.

"Isla died," Meredith blurted out.

"What?!" Addison sank down into a chair, her stomach churning. "How? When?"

"Last night. There was a shooting in a convenience store. She got hit."

"Oh my god. Oh my god. How...how are they?"

"Heartbroken." That was the only word that came to mind. "Owen got shot too. They had to remove his spleen but otherwise he's okay. We left right after he got out of surgery. I'm on my way back to the hospital now."

"Okay. Well, um, I have to figure out what to do with the kids so I'm not sure when I'll be there, but tell Amelia I will get there as soon as possible. And just...keep an eye on her, you know…"

"Yeah, I know. I will."

"Thanks, Meredith." Addison hung up and set Diana on the living room floor. "Henry," she called to the little boy that was curled up in the couch watching cartoons, "can you play with your sister for a little while?"

Henry sighed. Addison and Jake had just adopted the four-year-old from China two months ago and Henry wasn't exactly crazy about his new sister yet. She didn't understand much English, and didn't speak it at all, so he found communicating with her to be frustrating. On top of that, he was a bit jealous of all the attention she got because of her multiple medical needs.

"Please, buddy? Just for a bit so I can go talk to daddy for a minute?"

"Fine," Henry grumbled with an impressive eye roll.

Addison ruffled his hair. "Thank you." She hurried upstairs, where Jake was just getting out of the shower.

"So, I was thinking, maybe today...hey, what's wrong?" Jake's brow furrowed in concern at his wife's pained expression.

"Meredith just called…"

"Who?"

"Meredith Grey. Derek's wife," Addison explained.

"Okay...and why did she call?" Jake asked, his curiosity growing.

Addison took a few deep breaths and swallowed hard before speaking. "Amelia asked her to. Isla died."

Jake was at his wife's side immediately. "You're kidding me!"

Addison shook her head as tears ran down her cheeks. "Apparently there was a robbery or something, and she got caught in the crossfire. I should go to Seattle…"

"Of course."

"But what about Diana? I hate the thought of leaving her, but obviously flying is out of the question, and I don't know if I should have her around Amelia right now anyways...seems kind of...cruel."

"Honey, she'll be fine with me," Jake assured Addison. After being cared for by all female nannies for four years in the orphanage Diana was understandably afraid of men and, after two months, was still a bit wary of Jake. She was slowly warming up to him but still had a strong preference for Addison. "Besides, she has a doctor's appointment tomorrow, don't want to miss that. You go to Seattle, and I'll drive up with the kids in a couple days."

"I should be here for Diana's appointment…"

"Babe, I got this. We'll manage," Jake insisted.

"Are you sure?"

"Totally sure. Go."

"Thank you." Addison forced a smile and pulled Jake in for a quick kiss before running off to check out flights.

Meredith grabbed some coffee, fruit and yogurt from the cafeteria before going upstairs. She peeked in the room and found Amelia perched, pale and solemn, on the edge of the bed, running her fingers through Owen's hair as he slept. "Hey. How is he?"

Amelia sighed. "He kept having nightmares. Waking up screaming and crying. Finally they sedated him so he can get some rest. But other than that, he's okay. I just called his mom. She'll be here in a little while."

"How about you? Did you sleep at all?" Amelia shook her head. "And have you eaten anything?"

Amelia's stomach lurched at the thought of putting anything in it. "No. I...I should go home and get some things for Owen. And I need to start calling people. Making...plans…"

"Amelia, wait. Just wait until his mom gets here, and I'll go with you.

"No, it's fine. I'm fine."

Meredith stood in the door with her arms crossed. "And how far do you think you'll get with no car? Sit down and eat something, and I'll take you when Owen's mom gets here."

Realizing Meredith had a point, Amelia sat down and opened a container of yogurt, but pushed it away after a few bites. "I can't," she muttered as she leaned forward, willing the wave of nausea to go away.

As Meredith sat rubbing Amelia's back and clutching a basin just in case, a voice came from the doorway. "Oh, sweetheart," Evelyn gushed as she approached. Amelia slowly stood and embraced her mother-in-law. They hugged for several minutes before the older woman played back. "You could have called last night, you know," she admonished gently as she brushed an errant lock of hair out of Amelia's face.

"I know. But Isla was...she was gone before they even got her here and Owen was stable. It just seemed cruel to wake you in the middle of the night when there was nothing you could do."

Evelyn nodded in understanding. "But still. I would have kept you company," was all she said before assuming a position by Owen's bed. "So, he's okay, right?"

"He is. He had a pretty rough night, couldn't sleep, so they did sedate him, but his surgery went well and he should make a full recovery. Now, if you'll excuse us I need to run home to get some things, and make some phone calls. If he wakes up, just tell him I'll be back in a little while, okay?"

"Of course, dear."

Amelia and Meredith headed out, planning on picking Owen's car up from the store parking lot. However, Meredith noticed the rapid rise and fall of Amelia's chest as they got closer. "You know what? We don't have to do this now," she decided as she accelerated and sped past the store.

"Mere, I'm fine," Amelia protested despite the fact that she was sweating and had to grip her purse to keep her hands from shaking.

"You're not fine! I'm not letting you get behind the wheel like this. I'll drop you off at home, and get Maggie or Nathan to come with me to get your car. It's no big deal."

Amelia nodded. When they got to her house she hurried inside where she changed, washed her face, and threw her hair in a ponytail before gathering up clothes, toiletries, and other necessities for Owen. Finally she sat down and pulled out her phone to make the call she'd been dreading. She dialed, her resolve crumbling as soon as she heard the familiar, comforting voice on the other end. "Mommy?" was all she could squeak out before dissolving into tears.

 **Confession: this chapter was hard. Harder than the last one. I struggle with these filler chapters, you know, that in-between-the-big-events stuff, with more feelings than action. Action I can do. I don't do feelings. I ignore them and hope they go away, so writing about them...it's just weird. So, sorry if it sucks.**

 **Okay, so while I love Amelia, Addison is kind of my all-time fave. How would you guys feel about me doing a story about her and her little family? Probably not right away, but in the near-ish future.**


	5. Chapter 5

**You guys! My lovely readers, thank you for the sweet reviews. They're not showing up here for some reason, but I am getting e-mail notifications and I want to tell you that I really do appreciate it. I am most definitely** _ **not**_ **a writer but sometimes my imagination takes off and I have to get these ideas out of my head, and you make me feel like I'm not just wasting my time so again, thank you.**

 **Obviously this is going to be another sad chapter, but I promise there will be happiness in the future. I haven't quite figured out when it will come, but don't lose hope. It won't be 100% depressing forever.**

The next few days went by in a blur. Amelia bounced back and forth between the hospital, the funeral home, and everywhere else she needed to be to plan the funeral. Meredith and Nathan hated going back to work on Monday but with Owen and Amelia out the hospital couldn't afford to lose them too. They took comfort knowing that at least Owen had his mother by his side and Amelia was in good hands with Carolyn and Addison.

On his fifth day Owen convinced his doctor to discharge him after morning rounds; while the doctor would have preferred to keep Owen another day or two the incision was healing nicely and he knew the best place for Owen was home, surrounded and supported by his family.

When Amelia arrived at the hospital to go over the discharge papers and bring him home she was predictably stoic. Owen hadn't seen her cry since that first day. He knew it would come eventually, but for the time being she was matter-of-factly going over the plans she'd made, making sure he approved of every last detail, or updating him on who was coming into town and when.

Owen had cried until he was sure there was nothing left but as soon and he crossed the threshold the tears started anew. The pictures of his little girl hanging on the walls and filling photo albums were all there would ever be; the toys still scattered around the house would never be played with again. It was all too much for his aching heart to bear.

Amelia put a thin arm around his waist and helped him upstairs, where she put him to bed. There were a million and one things to do, but they could wait; she climbed under the covers and pressed herself against him, craving closeness after days of being separated by a guardrail, of wires and tubes that got in the way, of responsibilities pulling them in different,directions. Delicate fingertips brushed away every tear, soft pink lips kissed his and murmured gentle words. They spent the day clinging to each other, feeling more like one being than two, with Amelia only prying herself away from her husband long enough to fetch food and water that she insisted he needed to regain his strength and continue healing; he observed that she never consumed any herself, but she brushed him off, insisting she'd eaten while she was downstairs. Eventually the sun began to set and Owen, aided by the prescription painkillers that he had discreetly - or so he thought - counted and stashed away, drifted off. For the first time in days he slept soundly, comforted by the slender arm draped across his chest, the small hand clinging to his t-shirt, the soft, espresso-colored hair that tickled his cheek.

The next morning, however, Owen woke up alone. He stumbled to the bathroom where he relieved himself and splashed cold water on his face, then went off in search of his wife. He was halfway down the stairs when he heard his mother-in-law's voice.

"For God's sake, Amelia, would you just sit down and eat something?" the older woman begged.

"Nancy, Liz and Kate are coming in this morning. They'll be here any time now," Amelia pointed out as Owen entered the kitchen to find her mopping the floor with harsh, angry strokes. The rest of the kitchen was spotless, as was what he could see of the rest of the house; he guessed she was probably up most of the night while he and Carolyn slept.

"And they're not coming to inspect the cleanliness of your house! You need to take care of yourself!" Carolyn looked at Owen, her gaze an unspoken plea for help.

Owen shrugged as his wife scrubbed furiously. "She's managing," he explained sadly. Although he hated it, he knew that by keeping busy, Amelia _was_ taking care of herself the best she could; to sit idle was to welcome in the grief that would cripple her and tempt the long-stifled desire for drugs to numb the unbearable ache. Right now cleaning was her drug, distracting her from the gaping hole in her heart.

He understood Carolyn's concern, though, so he took the mop from Amelia's hands and guided her to the table where a plate of scrambled eggs and toast sat untouched. He put his hands on her shoulders - he was sure they felt thinner than they had six days ago - and firmly lowered her to a chair. "Come on. Just a few bites?"

Anger flashed in her gray eyes, but when he brought the fork to her lips she opened her mouth and accepted the food. She looked as though it was killing her to chew and swallow but she did, and took the next bite he offered, and the next. The fourth mouthful proved to be her breaking point, though, and she sprinted towards the bathroom with one hand clamped over her mouth. She slammed the door and locked it before anyone could follow her in, leaving Owen standing helplessly outside flinching as she gagged and retched before everything came up. Finally he returned to the table with a defeated sigh and sat with his head in his hands.

"She didn't eat for a month after her father died," Carolyn said as she took the seat next to him. "I mean she took a few bites here and there, but it was barely enough to keep her alive. She also stopped talking for a month, so I guess it could be worse…"

"I wish I could help her. I don't know what to do," Owen admitted as he turned to his mother-in-law.

Carolyn offered Owen a sad smile. "Love her, Owen. Just love her. With Amelia, sometimes that's all you can do until she's ready to let you help her."

Owen nodded, knowing she was right, before a knock on the door drew their attention. Before either could answer Addison let herself in, weighed down by at least a half dozen grocery bags filled with fresh fruit, pastries, and other goodies. "I figured the family would be hungry when they got here," she explained as Owen reached for the bags. "I got it. You need to take it easy," she ordered as she brushed past him and dropped it all on the counter. Then she turned to him and pulled him into a hug. "How you holding up?"

"I'm okay," Owen lied. Of course she saw right through him, but what else was there to say?

"How's Amelia?"

As if on cue the bathroom door opened and Amelia emerged. Her red, watery eyes and flushed cheeks gutted Owen, but he was relieved that she let him take her in his arms. "No more food," she whimpered into his chest as he stroked her hair.

"Okay. No more," Owen promised. "I'm sorry."

Finally Amelia turned her attention to Addison, who had already arranged the pastries on a platter and was searching for a cutting board and knife to make a fruit salad. "Addison, what is all this?"

"Your sisters will be here soon. It's a long flight, they'll be hungry," Addison rambled on. Truth be told she really didn't know what else to do to help, but food was always a good place to start.

"You're too much. You've done so much already," Amelia insisted as she embraced her ex sister-in-law. "I love you, Addie."

"I love you too." Addison planted a kiss on Amelia's forehead before getting back to work.

"So, have you heard from Jake? When are they getting in?" Amelia asked as she jumped in to help Addison, thankful for the distraction.

"I just talked to him. They were on the road until after ten o'clock last night. He says they should be here by early afternoon, but if course that depends on how the kids do."

Suddenly the door flew open and Nancy, Elizabeth, and Kathleen piled in, followed by their husbands and a number of their children. Some of the kids were in college and, with final exams looming, unable to make the trip but it was still an impressive group.

Owen's jaw dropped as the crowd filled the kitchen. He knew Amelia had a big family, and he had met most of them at one point or another, but he'd never seen so many of them all at once. Amelia's nieces and nephews ranged from teens to thirty-somethings with spouses and children of their own. After many hugs and tears everyone started grabbing plates of food. Owen could tell Amelia was a bit overwhelmed, and yet she seemed almost happy to be surrounded by her family.

He knew it meant a lot to Amelia that her whole family had made the trip. She was never very close with her sisters growing up as she was so much younger, and they had distanced themselves even more as she became dependent on drugs. Amelia convinced herself that she was better off without them but that changed when Isla came along; she couldn't bear the thought of the girl growing up not knowing her extended family. First she'd reached out to her mother - who she'd ignored for months after Carolyn refused to attend her wedding - and gradually she offered an olive branch to her sisters as well. Carolyn had flown out the week after Isla was born, and things had been good between them ever since. The girls took longer to come around, with Lizzie finally coming to visit for Isla's first birthday. The following Christmas, Nancy and Kate agreed to a get-together when Amelia and Owen brought Isla to New York to spend the holiday with Carolyn. Although she still wasn't as close with Nancy, Liz and Kate as she was with the other women she considered to be her sisters - Addison, Meredith, and Maggie - it brought Amelia some peace to know that, after so many years, they had finally resolved their differences.

The house was filled with noise until late in the evening, when everyone but Carolyn took off for the hotel. Addison stayed and helped tidy up. "Okay, I'm out of here," she finally announced as she hugged Amelia and Owen once the dishes were washed and the kitchen once again spotless. "I'll see you tomorrow." She couldn't hide the sadness in her voice, as the wake was the following afternoon. She was so worried about how it would hit Amelia, who she still hadn't seen cry. She knew the breakdown was imminent, but how bad it would be was anyone's guess.

Amelia and Owen made their way upstairs and got ready for bed. "That was really nice that they all made it out here," Owen commented as he climbed under the covers.

"Yeah. It's just a shame it took something like this to get everyone together." Amelia's voice wavered, but didn't break. "Isla would have loved it."

"Yeah, she would have," Owen agreed. He turned out the light and pulled Amelia close as he tried to rest up for what would surely be one of the hardest days of his life.


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, let it be known that y'all are slaying me with your reviews. Are you trying to make me cry? I just love you all. In addition to heaping on the praise please don't be afraid to let me know if you don't like something or I've made a mistake. Also, some of you have been wondering if Amelia is pregnant...all I'm saying about that is that the nausea and vomiting isn't morning sickness. Make of that what you will. Oh, and GabiCC, I PROMISE there will be no more shootings. Also no more deaths. Plenty of dark and twisty ahead still, but no one else will die. I'm not** _ **that**_ **cruel.**

The next morning Amelia and Owen lingered in bed well past the time they would normally be up. The house was silent, as Carolyn had gone to meet the girls for breakfast. By this point there was nothing left to do but show up for the wake, nothing to keep them busy, nothing to distract them from the nightmare their life had become. Amelia comforted Owen as he grappled with the harsh reality that, hours from now, they would stand next to a tiny white coffin as friends and acquaintances streamed by, offering up condolences for their loss; tomorrow they would bury their baby. Finally they got up. Amelia helped Owen bathe, carefully keeping his incision dry and applying a fresh dressing once he was toweled off. He slid into a t-shirt and sweatpants - they still had several hours until they had to be at the funeral home, no sense in putting on a suit now - and went downstairs as she got in the shower. He made some coffee, then inspected the fridge and settled on some leftover fruit salad. After he polished that off he moved on to the donuts and pastries; he was working his way through his second when Amelia came down, freshly showered and hair perfectly styled, clad in one of his old flannel shirts. "You hungry?" he asked, swearing she looked like she'd dropped at least ten pounds that week. "You really need to eat. Want me to make you something?"

 _Food is the last thing I want right now,_ she thought, but she could see the worry in his eyes. "Yeah, I guess. Maybe a little oatmeal," she suggested as she plopped down at the table. Her stomach was still in knots, but she knew he'd feel better if she at least tried to get something down. "Not that one," she added quietly as he grabbed a box from the pantry.

He stared at it. Apple cinnamon. Isla's favorite. He put it back and reached for the maple brown sugar kind instead. While the water boiled he poured her a glass of juice. When the oatmeal was done he set it in front of her, then sat across from her and watched as she choked down four or five spoonfuls and sipped the juice before pushing it away.

"That's it. That's all I can do," she admitted in defeat.

He reached across the table and took her hand, rubbing small circles on the back of it with his thumb. "Hey, it's okay. It's better than nothing." They say like that for a while before making their way to the couch where she curled up and rested her head on his shoulder. They sat like that for a while before Amelia went upstairs to do her make up. Owen was still sitting there when Carolyn came in.

"I would have invited you out to breakfast with us, but she's barely slept all week so I didn't want to wake you two up," she explained as she sat next to him. "Is she up yet?"

"Yeah. She's doing her make up now."

Carolyn nodded. "I don't suppose she ate anything, did she?"

"A little oatmeal and some juice. Not much, but she tried. And she didn't puke so that's good, I guess."

"Better than nothing. And how about you?"

Owen have a half-hearted chuckle. "Pretty sure I've eaten enough for both of us."

"That's good. You need to keep your strength up." Carolyn patted his knee before heading to the guest room, and Owen went upstairs to start getting dressed.

Amelia had finished her make up and was pulling a black dress over her head. It was a simple a-line dress that fell just above her knees. The last time he'd seen her in it they were celebrating a much happier occasion, their fourth anniversary. "Zip me up?" she requested as she turned to peek over her shoulder. He did as asked but lingered a bit, burying his face in her shoulder, kissing her neck and breathing in her familiar scent. "You look beautiful," he murmured as he ran his hands down over her hips.

She turned and rewarded him with a long kiss, her nimble fingers brushing his jaw. "And you look like you better get dressed," she teased, though he could tell her heart wasn't in it.

She was right, of course, and he quickly dressed in the suit she had laid out for him on the bed. She watched and expertly knotted his tie once he was dressed. They went downstairs where her mother was waiting, and his as well, and they drove in silence to the funeral home.

Amelia pauses at the door, takes a few deep breaths before entering. As they get closer to the room he feels her grip on him tighten, her nails, though short, digging into his palm; he wonders if this is it, if she's finally going to break down but no. There are tears, a few sniffles and restrained sobs, but overall she maintains her composure. Slowly they approach the casket and he takes in all the details. Of course everything is perfect. The white casket is lined with pink satin and little Isla is tucked inside with her favorite doll, looking so peaceful he could swear she's just sleeping. Her bright, springy curls are pulled back from her face and held in place with a big pink bow - she always loved having her hair done up pretty. She's wearing a sunny yellow dress with bright pink polka dots - her two favorite colors - that has layer upon layer of frothy, pink tulle under the skirt, perfect for twirling. It was meant to be her birthday dress and she will wear it on her birthday - tomorrow - but there will be no spinning in front of the mirror, no ridiculously adorable voice asking _daddy, do I look beautiful?_ , no pink-frosting-covered fingers being wiped on the front of it. Her bottom half is hidden, but he knows she has on sparkly, pink ballet flats, the ones Amelia saw in the Target ad and drove to three different stores to find the right size because she just knew Isla would love them.

Next he takes in the flowers. Gracing the top of the casket are roses, of course, in a soft, candy pink but what makes him smile is the enormous arrangement of Gerbera daisies in shades of pink, red, orange and yellow off to the side. Isla adored those silly things with their showy, look-at-me blooms. They couldn't take a trip to the grocery store without Isla dragging them off to the floral department and begging for one and of course Owen couldn't help but recall their last trip, just days before the night that changed their lives forever.

" _Daddy? Can I have this?" Isla asked coyly. She smiled up at him and batted her eyelashes as she held one of the plants, its gaudy blooms rivaled only by the even gaudier Mylar encasing its little pot._

" _Isla, you have at least a dozen of them at home. Put it back," he ordered, trying - unsuccessfully, as was usually the case when dealing with his little daughter - to sound stern._

" _But daaaaaaaddy, I don't have_ this _one," she pointed out in her sweet, used-only-for-daddy sing-song voice as she ran her little fingers over the almost-neon orange petals._

 _Of course he gave in. They were cheap - usually four, maybe five bucks - and, as Amelia rationalized, they wouldn't rot the girl's teeth or give her diabetes like the candy and other treats most kids begged for in the grocery store. When they got home she climbed up on the kitchen counter to line it up in the big bay window with her other ones and counted them. "Fifteen!" she squealed; he knew that meant there were fourteen, because she always forgot eleven. "One, two, free, four, five, six, seben, eight, nine, ten, twelve, firteen, fourteen, fifteen!" she always said, no matter how many times he reminded her of the forgotten number._

Owen didn't know how long he'd stood there, lost in his memories, but he snapped to attention when he felt a hand on his arm. His mother. The rest of the immediate family was filing in, and soon their friends, neighbors, and colleagues would arrive.

The next four hours passed in a blur of tears and heartfelt condolences that did nothing to bring their daughter back. By the time it was over Owen was drained and he could tell Amelia was too; her shoulders were hunched, her head falling listlessly against his arm.

They went home, and Owen persuaded Amelia to choke down half an English muffin while he buried his feelings under an excessive amount of lasagna - he had no clue who had sent it over but he had to admit it was pretty Damn good - with bread and butter. Then they were off to bed where both tossed and turned before passing out skin-to-skin, managing a few hours of slumber before waking to do what neither was sure they ready for.

 **Confession: I rode the struggle bus through this whole damn chapter. I started it Monday night, and added to it sporadically throughout the day yesterday, but I just tanked when I hit the wake. Sometimes I'm surprised at what stumps me, especially when I can picture things so clearly in my head but fight a losing battle to put those thoughts into words. My question to you is am I giving you guys enough info? I tend not to like stories where the reader is bogged down with every minute detail of what is going on - it's tedious and exhausting to read, imo. But in writing, I'm never quite sure of what** _ **needs**_ **to be written, and what gaps the readers can be trusted to fill in on their own. So, let me know...do I need to go into more detail, or have I struck a good balance between not enough and too much?**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys. First of all, thanks for all the reviews. Second, sorry for taking so long to update, and third sorry for that error-filled last chapter. Mostly autocorrect fails but I take full credit for that part where I slipped into the wrong tense for a while. My head just isn't in the game. I'm a bit of a train wreck right now but I'm trying to get my shit together, I promise. On top of that I'm having trouble uploading, so that's fun.**

When the sun rose the following morning, it found Owen and Amelia already awake, tangled up in each other and dreading what the day would bring. With a collective sigh they dragged themselves out of bed to get ready. Amelia got in the shower, and Owen went downstairs to eat. Carolyn, too, was awake and she bustled around fixing him breakfast.

By the time Owen ate and went back upstairs, Amelia had finished showering and was sitting in front of the vanity wrapped in a towel, getting ready to blow dry her hair. Droplets of water glistened on her bare, bony shoulders. "Your mom made breakfast. You should eat," he said softly before dropping a kiss on the top of her head.

She let out a shaky sigh. "Yeah. I will." He knew she probably wouldn't, but nodded and headed for the bathroom. When he emerged half an hour later, showered and clean-shaven, she was wearing a black dress. This one was new; the bodice was fitted, with a scoop neck and cap sleeves, and the skirt, falling to just above her knees, was full. Any other time his only thought would have been how gorgeous she looked in it.

He got dressed, watching her do her make-up as he did so. Then came the jewelry. He saw the frustration on her face as she struggled to fasten the clasp on her necklace and hurried to her. "Here, let me." As he took it from her he realized why she was having trouble - her hands, icy cold to the touch, were shaking like leaves. His throat tightened when he looked at the necklace and remembered the day he gave it to her.

 _It was a characteristically rainy mid-May morning. He approached their bedroom, carefully balancing a tray laden with scrambled eggs, bacon, homefries, a raspberry danish, fresh fruit, orange juice, coffee, a bud vase with a pink rose, a card, and a small box. Amelia was sitting up in bed, nursing two-week-old Isla. "Hey, mama," he called from the doorway, and his heart nearly burst when she looked up at him with sparkling eyes and a smile that could light up the darkest room; he'd never seen her as happy as she'd been the last few weeks._

 _"Ooo, whaddya got?" she inquired eagerly, earning a laugh from her husband. He'd teased her about her insatiable appetite in the final month of pregnancy, but that was nothing compared to now; apparently breastfeeding left her ravenous and he was astounded on a daily basis by how much food his petite wife could put away._

 _He set the tray across her lap and climbed under the covers, then took the baby once she was done nursing. He burped Isla, then cradled her in his arms and gently rocked her to sleep while Amelia dug into her breakfast as if she hadn't eaten in days. Once every plate was clean she opened the card first, getting a little weepy over the Hallmark sentiments, then the box. "Oh, Owen, it's beautiful," she gushed. It was a white gold heart with Isla Joy engraved on the front with an emerald, and 5/11/2018 on the back. She wasted no time putting it on, then leaned over and rewarded him with a long kiss. "It's perfect. Just like her."_

 _"Happy Mother's Day," he said before leaning in for another kiss._

He brushed her hair aside and fastened the necklace, then turned her around and pulled her close. "I don't think I can do this. How do people _do_ this? How do people bury their babies?" she asked, her trembling voice barely above a whisper. She'd been so strong all week, taking care of him and making arrangements, but he could tell the breakdown was coming. Maybe not this minute, but soon.

"I don't know. I really don't," was all he could choke out as he held her tight. They stood like that, each gathering strength from the other's presence, until Carolyn appeared in the doorway.

"We, um, we better get going," she announced sadly. Reluctantly the couple pulled apart from each other and they departed for the funeral home

After a brief, intimate service for family at the funeral home they made their way to the church and then, finally, the cemetery. Owen was a bit surprised at how well Amelia held up through it all, right until the very end. It was the lowering of the casket that did her in. A strangled "No!" escaped from her throat as she watched that little white casket disappear into the ground. Owen felt every last bit of strength leave her body, and he grabbed her before she could fall. He braced one arm across the small of her back; with his other hand he cradled the back of her head. She leaned into him, burying her face in his shoulder, and released the pent-up emotions she'd kept in check all week.

It wasn't pretty; her face burned red and hot, there was running mascara, smudged lipstick, and snot. Her whole body shuddered and twitched in his arms as her anguished sobbing was punctuated by coughing, sputtering, and gasping. Her grief was palpable, and if there had been any dry eyes in that cemetery before, there certainly weren't now. Eventually she calmed down enough for them to make their way to the car but once they were inside she lost it again.

They went back home, where their families and friends had been invited to gather after the funeral. Addison, Meredith, and their families arrived right behind them, and soon the women were setting out all the food sent by well-meaning friends and co-workers - trays of deli meat and cheese, fruit and veggie platters, pans of lasagna and baked ziti, salads of every kind, and an endless assortment of desserts. Amelia knew they were expected to stay and socialize, but she just wasn't feeling up to it. "I just wanna go to bed," she admitted Owen between sniffles.

"Then let's go to bed." If he was honest, Owen wasn't in the mood for socializing either. He led her upstairs where they changed out of their nice clothes and crawled under the covers. It wasn't long before people started to notice their absence, and Carolyn was the first to go upstairs in search of them. She found them in bed, with Amelia sobbing broken-heartedly into Owen's chest as he stroked her hair and wept. Seeing the state they were in, she just shut the door and went back downstairs with orders for everyone to just leave the grieving couple alone.

It was early evening before Amelia finally cried herself to sleep. Owen carefully disentangled himself and went downstairs, needing a cold drink. By now only their immediate families and closest friends remained. Addison, as usual, was still buzzing around, collecting dirty dishes and putting food away. She paused when she saw him. "Hey. How you hanging in there? You hungry? I can fix you a plate."

He shook his head. "I'm not really hungry. Where are Jake and the kids?"

"They went back to the hotel. Diana was getting cranky. Plus she has another appointment on Wednesday, so they're heading home in the morning. But, um, I can stick around a few more days, if you need anything…"

Owen smiled and pulled her into a hug. "Addison, you've done more than enough. You should go with them. But thank you for everything, and for taking care of Amelia while I was in the hospital."

"She's the sister I never had. I couldn't not be here. Just...just tell her to call me if she's up before eight tomorrow, and I'll stop by before we hit the road. Okay?"

"Okay."

With that Addison collected her purse, hugged everyone goodbye, and left. The Shepherd clan was close behind, leaving just Carolyn, Evelyn, Meredith, and Nathan, who started gathering up the kids as it was already past the twins' bedtime.

"So, is she okay? Can I go see her?" Meredith asked.

"She's sleeping. Probably best to just leave her alone."

Meredith nodded. "Okay. Well, give us a call if you need anything."

"I will. Thank you."

Soon Evelyn was gone too, and Carolyn headed up to bed. Owen grabbed a bottle of water for himself and one for Amelia, and went back to bed. He snuggled up to Amelia and fell asleep with one arm draped protectively over her.

 **Okay, that was another tough one to write. Again, apologies for the wait. I'll try to get the next chapter posted in the next few days.**

 **How do you like the flashbacks in this chapter and the last? I'm kind of regretting starting where I did, because you never really got to know Isla. I'm thinking of incorporating more as the story progresses to give you a glimpse into their life prior to the shooting.**


End file.
